Who am I? As children our answer to that question was based on anything from our favorite ice cream to who our best friend was at the moment. As adults our answer relates more to things like what we do or how much we have. But as Christian adults we recognize that who we are (aka our identity) comes from only one source. And who we are in Christ affects every part of our lives—from how we think and feel to the choices we make each day. At the zenith of the Beatles' fame, John Lennon wrote, “You can learn to be you in … [Read more...]
Why Lecture Doesn’t Work
I don’t know how to fix cars. I barely know where to put the gas. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in a specialized society, or maybe because I’ve never taken the time to learn, but I have no idea what the difference is between a carborator and a spark piston. Spark piston? Is that right? Whatever. My dad knows something about cars—at least what the different parts are. Once I called him because one of our headlights went out. I asked him how to fix it. Over the phone, he gave me the information, and I … [Read more...]
The 5 C’s of Dysfunctional Dating
So you've finally found someone. Congratulations! No more dinners for one or Friday nights alone. All is well. Or is it? In all that lovebird excitement, you may have unknowingly stumbled into one of the Five C's—unhealthy dating pitfalls common to all couples. If you avoid them, you and your sweetie will have a better shot at success. But if you find yourself stuck in a C, you might be in an unhealthy relationship headed for the rocks. Read on to see if any of the Five C's describe you. Coupling Syndrome When Bonnie met … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Engage Young Men in Your Ministry
For as long as I can remember, I have heard this saying: “If you get the girls to come to church, the guys will follow.” For several years I believed that saying and even have a number of friends who followed girls to church and ended up becoming great men of faith. Unfortunately, most of the ministries I’ve known over the years have had tremendous women involved and serving, but still the group struggled to have consistent male connectivity. So, I wonder if the old adage is really true? If the Scripture is true … [Read more...]
What Is Love?
My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of letting my roommate see me type. It's one thing to tell people you type more than 90 words a minute; it's another to let them see you do it—especially when you live in a small space condensed with hundreds of desperate people stalking the dorm halls in search of someone to quickly type their papers. Seemingly overnight I reached cult celebrity status for my superhuman typing skills. But before you get the wrong idea that I enjoyed it, let me set the record straight: I loathed … [Read more...]
Making Disciples Jesus’ Way
Have you ever been to a shooting range? Everyone is trying to hit the bull’s-eye. How do we, as ministers, know if we’re hitting the mark and “winning” in discipleship? The BCNet discipleship team questioned 107 college ministers across the United States. We asked them seven open-ended questions regarding their discipleship strategy. One survey question was “What is your vision/strategy for discipleship?” and we received the following results: 29% teaching by mentoring and one-on-one relationship … [Read more...]
Living a Life Less Ordinary
I stared at the computer. Once again, I found my eyes drifting to the clock in the corner of the screen. It was 3:45 p.m., so I still had more than an hour of work left before I could go home. How did the afternoons get so long? I wondered. And even after work, there was nothing particularly exciting to look forward to. I might go out to dinner with friends or see a movie before heading to bed, but I would just wake up and do it all over again. How did I get in this rut? I knew there ought to be more to life than this—some … [Read more...]
A Reason to Pray: Beyond the How to the Why
I can't recall when the change happened. I just know that over the years my approach to prayer has shifted. I now find myself wanting to pray, not just grudgingly knowing I should pray. I have come to see talking to God as not only a duty but also a delight. The transformation has had to do in part with a simple yet profound discovery: As I pray, I give attention not only to the “what” but also the “why” of prayer. Going deeper in prayer has meant looking closely at the bigger picture, remembering that I come … [Read more...]
Defining “Small Groups”
Defining a small group is a difficult task. Over the last 20 or so years, variations on the theme have become norm. The information in this article unveils the basics of a biblically-driven small group—those things that should be consistent in any group type. A simple definition of a small group is: “A micro-community of 3 to 12 Jesus followers doing the Christian life deeply together.” If honesty and vulnerability are necessary for spiritual growth, group dynamics would tell us that the levels of transparency … [Read more...]
Dating Moment: Let’s Get Serious
You lovebirds think you're ready to take your relationship to the next level, but are you sure? Before you get serious, here's a checklist of things to do, talk about, and inspect in your romance. Friends Most couples wait to meet the parents, but it's high time you meet your honey's close friends (and vice versa)—those interactions can reveal a lot. Facts Have a heart-to-heart about what you've experienced in your relationship histories—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and what you're looking for in another … [Read more...]
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